Dating In The World Today


In today's blog I really wanted to talk about dating for those people that are single that are reading my posts. Dating is not my favorite. Don't get me wrong. I really enjoy when I am out on a date with someone but getting to that point is a different story. I myself am an introvert, so getting to know someone that I am not familiar with is really hard for me. It is also hard because I don't really speak very often around those that I don't know. So I will be talking today about healthy and unhealthy dating.

To start everything off, let us make sure that we are all on the same page. Dating someone does not mean to have sexual activities with them. Dating is also not just “hanging out” with them. Elder Dallin H. Oaks states “Unlike hanging out, dating is not a team sport. Dating is pairing off to experience the kind of one-on-one association and temporary commitment that can lead to marriage in some rare and treasured cases.” A date should have the three P’s Paired off, Paid for, and Planned. When you are paired off just like Elder Oaks said, dating is something that we do one-on-one. You make a commitment that you will be with your partner through the entirety of the date. When you are paired off you will be able to get to know that person a lot better than if you were in a group. Paid for means that one person pays for the date (usually the man but also can be the woman). So no going Dutch! And lastly Planned. A date should be planned out so that you are never wondering what to do next. It does not matter if it is simple. I really like something that someone brought to my attention which was that the three P’s Paired off, Paid for, and Planned correlated with The Family: A Proclamation to the World’s Preside, Provide, Protect. This to me confirmed that dating is something that we do to prepare us for marriage.

Alright now that we have that squared away, there are two main ways of dating (I won't be talking about non-committal make out or whatever people call it nowadays since we all know it isn't even considered dating and should not be done as I will explain why later on). The first one I’ll talk about is “Date until you hate”. The way this works is when you meet someone you focus in on them like a laser and pursue them and only them. This tends to not work out so well because you and the person you are dating or trying to date start to hate each other. When you date someone like this you and/or your partner take up every moment that you have whether it be messaging, phone calls, or in person. 

The other way of dating and in my opinion the more healthy way of dating is to date a lot of different people. By dating a lot of different people you gain experience and learn from your mistakes. Also this way you get to know what kind of person you like and will be able to stand to be around when hard times come. So when you do decide that it is time for you to get married you will know what you are looking for in a husband or wife and will be able to make an educated decision. 

If you are wondering what is alright and what isn't I really like the R.A.M model. R.A.M. stands for Relationship Attachment Model and it looks like this.


If you are dating correctly then the sliders should never be higher than the slider to its left. That means you should never trust someone more than you know them. You should never rely on someone more than you trust them etc. etc. 


Alright that's the wrap! Thanks for sticking with me till the end! If you have any questions or comments let me know!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hello!

Image
Hey out there!   My name is Ivan and I have started this blog so that I can write down my thoughts and feelings about families. I have never done anything like this before so lets see how this all goes together. I was born and raised Christian and I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I love Jesus Christ and I know that He loves each and every one of us. Each of us on this planet are sons and daughters of God. Jesus Christ teaches us that we should love one another ( John 13:34 ). I know that Jesus was talking about every single one of us. We should care and love everyone even if we do not agree with their beliefs or their actions. I know it can be hard to see through to someone else's side and look at things with their perspective.  Heavenly Father(God) knows what each and everyone of us is going through and he still loves you! So let us respect each other and try to look at everyone’s point of view. 1John 4:20
Read more

Just Married (Will need to Adjust)

     So we talked about dating last week so this week I thought we should move on to early marriage. If you are dating in a correct and healthy way it should be a great way to get to know someone and learn if you will click with them and whether or not you would want to marry them. But remember when you marry someone and move in with them it does not matter how much you think you know them, you will learn even more about them after marrying them. For example while you are dating them you will find out what their hobbies are or what their favorite foods are. When you get a bit more serious you will also talk about how you would like to raise your children and your expectations out of your relationship together. Then when you marry them you will have to change how you live. You will have someone else in the bed with you, you will have to get used to someone else's things cluttering up the bathroom, you have to put up with each other's little quirks. I know that these things...
Read more

How To Be Active In Active Parenting!

     This week I want to talk about how we can be an active parent instead of a reactive parent. When you are raising a child, you don't want to only react to what your child does. The purpose of parenting is to protect and provide for your children so they can be prepared in this world and the next. That is why taking an active part in raising your children is what I believe is a parents responsibility and duty to not only their child but to God.      When you are raising a child they can get annoying, you can get frustrated with them and you may feel at your wits end but the child is acting that way for a reason and it is the parents responsibility to fulfill that need for their own children. For some reason in the world today parents believe that it is someone else's responsibility to raise their children for them and that if they act out or do something that the parents don’t like then it is someone else's fault, for example school teachers. This type o...
Read more