Just Married (Will need to Adjust)

    So we talked about dating last week so this week I thought we should move on to early marriage. If you are dating in a correct and healthy way it should be a great way to get to know someone and learn if you will click with them and whether or not you would want to marry them. But remember when you marry someone and move in with them it does not matter how much you think you know them, you will learn even more about them after marrying them. For example while you are dating them you will find out what their hobbies are or what their favorite foods are. When you get a bit more serious you will also talk about how you would like to raise your children and your expectations out of your relationship together. Then when you marry them you will have to change how you live. You will have someone else in the bed with you, you will have to get used to someone else's things cluttering up the bathroom, you have to put up with each other's little quirks. I know that these things may sound like they are just inconsequential but these kinds of things are super important for you and your Husband/Wife to talk about. Just remember that adjustments are important and needed but are not easy. The best way to get through these adjustments and little quirks that you each bring into the marriage is to talk to each other openly about them. A lot of people are scared to talk to their husband or wife openly because they do not want to hurt the other person or push them away but not talking openly to each other is way more harmful to the relationship. Whenever someone talks to me about how they just can't stand how their husband or wife does something or that some issue pops up between them and I find out that they have not even talked about it with their husband or wife, I just think about all the books that I’ve read and tv dramas that I’ve watched that I am just screaming at the characters because they just assume that they know the other person's thoughts and what their actions mean (I know that you've done the same or you haven't watched any of the good dramas before) when you know that just a simple conversation between them can clear up so much.

Alright onto some of the most common changes that you will need to adjust to when you get married. Let’s start with the adjustments that will happen in the first couple months and then move to the first couple years. 

First Couple Months

Budget Communication  -Resolve Conflict  -Sexual Intimacy  Decision Making

Budgeting is HUGE. How each of you believe the budget should be used is different and you will have to come together to figure out what is important for you to spend your budget on.

Communication is also really important and I have already touched on it earlier but remember to have those conversations to resolve conflict instead of holding it in and letting it fester. Also it is really important to talk about your intimacy. I know that it might be scary or mortifying but it is a very important discussion you should have with your husband or wife.

Decision Making should involve both the husband and wife. It should be a team effort and the responsibility of both parties.

First Couple Years

Managing Time Household Tasks, Roles Cultural Expectations Extended Family Connections Children When to have? How to Raise?

Managing Time is important because you both will think different things are more important and that you should be spending more time on one thing over the other. It will be difficult but figure out what you both find important to spend your time doing together.

Household Tasks, Roles will change when you get married and will continue to change as married life continues. The tasks and roles in a family change everytime there is a change in the family like a new baby.

Cultural Expectations are hard when you and your husband or wife are from completely different cultures but even when you both are from the same culture so to say. But each of you bring in different traditions that you may be expecting to pass on to your own children and they may clash.

Extended Family Connections are always a really fun one….. Anyways it is a real struggle to work out which side of the family to visit for those important holidays or events.

Children- When to Have? How to Raise? It will be really important to talk about these questions. You may have already talked about these things before marriage but discuss it again because life happens.

Alright guys thanks for sticken with me until the end and remember the most important thing is to be open and talk with your partner for you are partners for life and possibly eternity. Alright talk to y'all next week and remember to comment.